The emotional and physical agony of infertility will not stop Lisa Jarmuz from her dream of becoming a mother.

Tears ran down her face as her shaky hands laid the phone on the kitchen table after speaking with a nurse from CNY Fertility in Syracuse. After months of medications, injections and optimism, Lisa Jarmuz had to face the truth that her second cycle of in vitro fertilization treatment had failed.

Jarmuz said she remembers wanting to be a mother since she was a teenager. Growing up in a dysfunctional family and with no father, Jarmuz said she wanted to give her future children a childhood full of care and love that she didn’t get to experience.  

But in 2016, her dream of becoming a mother was threatened when she was diagnosed with endometriosis. Jarmuz was told that her endometrial tissue was growing outside of her uterus and on her ovaries. If left untreated the disease could cause Jarmuz to be infertile along with pain and discomfort on a daily basis.

With the support of her family and her husband, Jarmuz decided to undergo surgery to remove the endometrial tissue. After a successful surgery and without damages to the reproductive organs, Jarmuz decided it was time to start trying to conceive.

However, after two years of no success, Jarmuz and her husband decided to take the next step – IVF.

Approximately 15% of women in the United States struggle with infertility for a range of reasons, such as ovulation disorder and age, leading them to seek medical intervention. However the cost of IVF isn’t cheap, and the outcome isn’t guaranteed. 

The average cost of a full IVF cycle is between $4,900 to $30,000 and the success rate averages 37%, for women under the age of 35, and the chances decreasing with age.

“It’s frustrating and scary sometimes but Joe and I stay positive and follow the doctor’s plan in hopes that we will get a baby out of the whole process,” said Jarmuz, who is a 41-year-old bartender.  

But the fear of the overall journey isn’t the only difficult part, physical and emotional agony also play a key role.

Women have to endure ovarian stimulation, which involves multiple injections, medications and if not monitored correctly can cause ovaries to swell and enlarge, egg retrieval, fertilization and embryo development, embryo transfer and lastly, the highly anticipated pregnancy test, according to the CNY Fertility website.

“My stomach is full of bruises and my body is sore from the constant injections and procedures I have to undergo but I personally think all this physical pain is worth it,” said Jarmuz.

In her home office, Jarmuz has a box that holds all her used syringes, vials and medications to help remind her of how strong she is and everything she is physically capable of doing.

However regardless of how strong or hopeful Jarmuz is about her journey the treatment doesn’t guarantee a positive outcome.  

According to CNY Fertility, 30% of women conceive during their first attempt at IVF, leaving the rest to either try again or look for a different option to expand their family.

Yet the hardest part of the journey isn’t seeing the statistics, according to Jarmuz, it’s hearing comments about their childless life from strangers, friends and family.

“I constantly get told ‘You and Joe need to hurry up and have a baby’ and all I want to do is show them my bruises and tell them I’m trying,” said Jaruez.

With two unsuccessful cycles of IVF, Jarmuz said she hasn’t lost hope.

“Sometimes it feels as if I am failing everyone around me and that hurts more than the negative pregnancy test,” said Jarmuz. “I just have to remind myself that everything will be okay and not let myself fall into depression when things don’t go according to plan.” 

Jarmuz said she is open about her infertility and hopes that her journey will inspire other women who are going through IVF and educate those who don’t know about life with infertility. 

“Infertility is nothing to be embarrassed about and if sharing my journey can help a woman or couple know that they aren’t alone then I think I’ve done my job,” said Jarmuz.